It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
