actually, I'm a sock model
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
