i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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