I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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