It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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