there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
