Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize