I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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