You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize