I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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