Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
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