ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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