just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
