I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
