So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
