At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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