well I can't set my house on fire every night
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
