At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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