I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
