How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
