you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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