Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
