The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
