omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Thank you for not boning my boss.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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