Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
