Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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