Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
