You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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