we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
