NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
