i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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