he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Randomize
