I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize