my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
