so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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