I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
just tell him i said nine months
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
