my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
