why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
