so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize