Porn is love you can see.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize