I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
