Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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