Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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