Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
