I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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