ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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