Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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