I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He shit in the fireplace
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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