a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
