like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
