This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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