I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
