SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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