There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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