hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
