I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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