i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
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