Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
