sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
