I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
