I'm jealous of your bromance
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize