we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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