I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
