i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize