I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
