i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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