just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
