I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
