I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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