yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
