i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
