Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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