we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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