I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
