So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
