I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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