3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
