U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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