where am i from again
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
birth control should be required to get into college
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
