so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize