What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
