I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
