I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
