Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
