He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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