therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
